When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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