OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
