i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
