Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
