Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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