i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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