she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I haven't been this sober since birth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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