I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
