Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
