Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
