you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
