I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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