She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
