So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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