Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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