how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
