My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
