WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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