bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
