my vag is so smooth its legendary
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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