Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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