Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
