I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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