Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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