Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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