Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
