Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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