So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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