I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
