New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
