Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
