i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
