Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
