She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
