You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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