omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Watching her eat just hurts me
Vodka?
Forever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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