Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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