I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
