I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
dude. I can hear the air.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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