i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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