toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
