the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
