so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
