I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
