I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
