like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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