Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
