paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
