So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize