Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
