idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
