fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
