well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
