"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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