what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
