You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
