Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
