i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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