I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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